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    October 02

    从没有落幕的开始

    当风从我的百叶窗中掠过,惊叹清晨,树叶又被秋天打红,我又一次受到了感动,这是我第一次在riedeselstrass过十月,期望这下一个学期,期望这多一些的挑战。有时候我一直在想,开始了么?我是说我自己的人生,已经开始了么?我还只是系着红领巾,时刻准备着呢?开始的已经开始,没有的便随之自然吧。
     
    有些事情,亲生经历,自己却不知道是个开始,但是在意识来临之前,便草草地结束掉了。仿佛是杂草中生出的一粒橘子苗,当年我的表姐在我姥爷的花盆里面种的,但是被我当做杂草拔掉,后来被问及,才恍然大悟,想起那株不同,便是一种珍贵。人生的路上,脚下布满了青草,但是否有那悄悄长大的橘子苗?我真的是看不出来的。我之后便很喜欢养花,也想在吃完橘子之后拿些来种,但都很快作罢,已然没有了当年板凳才能够到的花盆中的那棵,其他的权当做记忆中的阳春面罢了。有时候,也会去怕,一种莫名的愕,想它一旦出芽了,长大了,该如何是好,需要的多了,我又如何是一个能几天不落家的人了呢?除虫、浇水、不停地换大些的花盆。当然最受不了的是其枯萎的那天,我一直不是很喜欢我母亲春节买水仙的习惯,草本的,年过了便一盆一盆地黄掉,我试着去传传粉,想留下些什么,但是我终究还是得不到什么的命。
     
    我不知道知道的结局,便就不让它开始好了。
     
    于是,我便习惯了没有开始的落幕,或者华丽一点,快乐一点,自嘲一点,叫做从没有落幕的开始罢了。

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    Lixiawrote:
    漂亮 !
    Oct. 4

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